I want a cleaner but my partner doesn’t. Am I being unreasonable?

It’s that time in the evening when you want to relax – but the piles of washing up, laundry and clutter are making you feel stressed. You would love to get a cleaner – but what if your partner doesn’t agree?

Couple conflict

There are lots of great reasons why you might want a cleaner. Whether you’re juggling work, family responsibilities, or you just hate cleaning, deciding you want a cleaner can free up time and headspace.

But many couples disagree about cleaning, including the need to bring in a professional cleaning service.

Essential or extravagance?

You might want a cleaner as an essential ingredient to preserving your sanity and restoring calm to your space. Your partner might see it as an unnecessary expense.

Try to understand each other’s point of view. Perhaps money is a concern. Look at your monthly budget together, to see if you can make savings elsewhere to cover the cost of the cleaning.

Who does most of the chores? If the burden is mostly falling on you, then it’s reasonable that you want a cleaner. As an alternative, suggest drawing up a rota of cleaning to share tasks with your partner. They may soon see the benefit of professional help!

Embarrassment dilemmas

Do you feel embarrassed about your messy home when unexpected visitors pop in? Your partner may equally feel embarrassed about your cleaner seeing your messy home. So be honest about how you feel. Explain that you want a cleaner so you can feel proud welcoming friends into your space. Cleaners are professionals who have seen all kinds of messy homes. They won’t judge yours, and will love seeing your delight at your newly cleaned space.

Working from home?

If your partner works from home, they may have nightmares about your cleaner vacuuming round their feet while they are on an important video call. Or maybe they worry about getting distracted by cleaning happening while they are working.

Suggest your cleaning day is the perfect time for your partner to go into the office, or even to try a co-working space or the gym. A change of scene can be refreshing and energising – especially when they return to a clean, calm home!

The right solution for you

When you’ve decided you want a cleaner, the key to getting your partner on board is to find a solution that works for both of you. The right cleaner will be someone who you can trust and who respects your space. A professional cleaner will take time to understand you and your needs, so you and your partner feel comfortable. Most importantly, a clean home will remove that conflict between you, and give you back precious time to spend together. And that will make everyone happy.